Reoccurence
He was the past she is re-living. He was the past, and she is the present.
The past is something meant to not reoccur over time. Somehow, there is a moment in your life where it can’t be helped and you let it happen, again. Do you know that letting go is one of the greatest lie ever told?
It's like hoping for a miracle to happen. Waiting for him to turn your way and finally took notice of the sacrifice you made. You could tell a thousand lies, but your heart always laid the truth. Don’t let yourself be open like a book – so easy to read and be predicted.
This is a secret of all. I wouldn’t lie – I wanted him. Only I knew he would never want me the way I wanted him. I envy the person he adores. I envy her for having what he wanted, for I’ve nothing he could own in his very way. I didn’t want his sympathy; I wouldn’t want his feelings to come from that.
Even when I have a thousand wishes, I’d never wish you’d love me back — because I wanted the feelings to come straight from your heart.
I can’t let him know how cold the pain is to me. At the mention of her, I’d wince. I could only speak in my mind. He would never know the way he made me fidget every time he is around, always very conscious of my being. My flaws became my greatest conscience at that very moment. When I thought of how I couldn’t afford to have him, I could only offer my tears.
The tears of a woman are her greatest jewels that should never be wasted for something worthless.
He is my secret #3. His name is my secret #1. My feelings for him are my secret #2. Together, they make up a huge secret that cannot be traded by merely an enquiry. I was silly for believing his words. He didn’t lie, but I hoped for so much. I wanted to know what happens if this were to change, giving me a (n) happy alternate ending to my story.
He lets me know his concern of me. They are no difference than pities he had. That is another ugly truth I lived with. I liked him more than he does. It freaks me out, you know what I mean? We’re going to need water to kill the fire.
Now that he leads me up high, I’m so afraid to get down.
I would let him know of all these when I finally moved on. When I see a promising future and ready to take a step forward, I would be the one with courage and strong heart.
All that’s left with me is my will to let go. And this is going to cost some part of my life.
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