Syazzinator

There are lies you cannot forgive— Not in a million apology. You’ve seen how people fussed about it. Facebook status is a constant victim. They’ve been whining, complaining. All for the same cause: betrayal. A blind man wouldn’t have noticed that. How much does it take to win your trust? It would’ve been shaky with some winds. Truths then create tornadoes; Breaking the rigid bonds you build. Haha. I might’ve been hyperbolic there. There was a reason I put forth trust above everything in my life. Without trust, anyone could be a stranger. That anger hasn't left; knowing how easy it was to believe and be cheated to. I thought it wouldn't hold. What's worth to tolerate when I'm wronged not once? Trust is gained, not given simply. Cause once you lose ‘em, It takes more than effort To bring it back. You liar bro?

This is going to be rojak . Bear with me a post :) Now, what about you that is SO Malaysian ah? Have you guys thought of it? One of the great trademarks of Malaysian is this: Rojak English . I personally find them very interesting. They might sound like a bit of chunks from various slangs la. Sometimes they sound rude, but also right. "Oi woman why you jalan terkangkang?" See what I meant? However, it's generally accepted by us. "Oh ma gad I forgot my homework dibah the table!" Guys, some of you might need a translator for that ._. Thus, this has lead to the socializing of different races. Ain't that great? Now the Chinese and Indians won't've problems understanding the Bumis. "Why wont this work teacher? I try so banyak kali. It wont gerak!" Science class in Form 2. "Cikgu yang ini tak ada nama writer ka?" 20 cents per English word in BM class. True story. This might have been a culture for us. I don't really think t...

Trailing my fingers across the keyboard— Nothing crossed my mind. 6.46 am and I’m still wide awake. I hadn’t slept. Is it true Friday the 13 th a bad omen? This was just about to prove itself to me. Hours it was; Had my eyes lingered on the ceiling. My head throbbed; There wasn’t anything I could do. I ought to take it easier this time. I had to make sure my heart was intact, alive and beating; though I wasn’t breathing properly. It was a long empty night, accompanied by quiet sobbing. Clutching the blanket so tight; I tried bringing out the best of my adulthood. I was a coward—I used to say that proudly. I changed my mind. That was my weakness. Perhaps one of the very things I should hide. Each word then rang in my ears. They spoke quite aloud. What do I do? That miracle I believed in so much; it didn’t happen. Dear God, I could barely stand on my feet. Save me.

I was thinking for a night; reflecting on things I did while I live. So I thought; What if my life were to change? What if I took the other road? I suppose a change or two wont hurt. Nevertheless, a whole change is too much to risk for. Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same, (Robert Frost,1920) I've been in this comfort zone for years. Towards this second, I find that hard to keep. I wanted to give up; but I never did. I never really did. I was afraid to face the outcomes . And truth is, I never had visions. Despite the absence, I managed to land on smooth grass. Then I learned that wasn't enough; I wanted more. Perhaps no one saw to it.

WARNING : This is going to be a long essay. 2011; like every other year has its own joys and regrets. I had an awesome year. I got what I wanted and I thank Allah for that. WELL, not exactly all... Need highlights? I got into ze' medical school. Yes of course I still can't get over the fact that it wasn't really my choice but hey it's good. I met some long-lost friends. I make more friends. I think. A supreme visit to ze' USS! Awesome awesome job being an LO. There was a period when I learned the meaning of being at the bottom of life. Some changes. Losing weight and gaining them :\ Screwing up and doing it more. I got ze' SCHOLARSHIP! Being a chicken and ze' slave. A lot of chasings took place. I got my licence BUT le me isn't allowed to drive. Bad, bad PMS. THE GREATEST ASASI year. EVER. Bet everyone's jealous of that :P If I could turn back time I'd choose to relive the days I spent being worry-free, do careless, reckless ...