One sweet love

Just about the time the shadows call
I undress my mind and dare you to follow
Paint a portrait of my mystery
Only close my eyes and you are here with me
A nameless face to think I see
To sit and watch the waves with me till they're gone
A heart I'd swear I'd recognize is made out of
My own devices....
Could I be wrong?

The time that I've taken
I pray is not wasted
Have I already tasted my piece of one sweet love?

Sleepless nights you creep inside of me
Paint your shadows on the breath that we share
You take more than just my sanity
You take my reason not to care.
No ordinary wings I'll need
The sky itself will carry me back to you
The things I dream that I can do I'll open up
The moon for you
Just come down soon

Ready and waiting for a heart worth the breaking
But I'd settle for an honest mistake in the name of
One sweet love.

Savor the sorrow to soften the pain sip on
The southern rain
As I do, I don't look don't touch don't do anything
But hope that there is a you.

The earth that is the space between,
I'd banish it from under me...to get to you.
Your unexpected love provides my solitary's
Suicide...oh I wish I knew

Ready and waiting for a heart worth the breaking
But I'd settle for an honest mistake in the name of
One sweet love.

Another Lunar year

Fireworks in the sky.

Yes,
you'd wish to watch them all night.
And in one,
they've outshine the brightest stars.

Beautiful.
Spectacular.
Fantastic.

WORDS.

I don't quite expect that as thrilling;
watching them from a window.
Perhaps,
I should take my feet outside.

The night breeze;
oh are they so ever welcoming.

That reminds me of touch.

I miss you.
Maybe your warmth,
maybe your presence.

And no doubt;
the place I wanted to be most
is to be in your arms.

Trust

There are lies you cannot forgive—

Not in a million apology.

Deceived by one;

Made I was to believe in lies.

I know—this is deep.

You’ve seen how people fussed about it.

Facebook status is a constant victim.

They’ve been whining, complaining.

All for the same cause: betrayal.

A blind man wouldn’t have noticed that.

How much does it take to win your trust?

It would’ve been shaky with some winds.

Truths then create tornadoes;

Breaking the rigid bonds you build.

Haha.

I might’ve been hyperbolic there.

There was a reason I put forth trust

above everything in my life.

Without trust,

anyone could be a stranger.

That anger hasn't left;

knowing how easy it was to believe

and be cheated to.

I thought it wouldn't hold.

What's worth to tolerate

when I'm wronged not once?

Trust is gained, not given simply.

Cause once you lose ‘em,

It takes more than effort

To bring it back.

You liar bro?

So Malaysians lah

This is going to be rojak.

Bear with me a post :)

Now,

what about you that is SO Malaysian ah?

Have you guys thought of it?

One of the great trademarks of Malaysian is this:

Rojak English.

I personally find them very interesting.

They might sound like a bit of chunks from various slangs la.

Sometimes they sound rude, but also right.

"Oi woman why you jalan terkangkang?"

See what I meant?

However, it's generally accepted by us.

"Oh ma gad I forgot my homework dibah the table!"

Guys,

some of you might need a translator for that ._.

Thus, this has lead to the socializing of different races.

Ain't that great?

Now the Chinese and Indians won't've problems understanding the Bumis.

"Why wont this work teacher? I try so banyak kali. It wont gerak!"

Science class in Form 2.

"Cikgu yang ini tak ada nama writer ka?"

20 cents per English word in BM class.

True story.

This might have been a culture for us.

I don't really think this abuses English.

In fact,

it brings people together :)

Meanwhile,

English abusers speak this way:

"Wat is diz think doink hear?"

Just making my point.

Don't do that.
My eyeballs had a hard time.

You Malaysian bro?

Dawn

Trailing my fingers across the keyboard—

Nothing crossed my mind.

6.46 am and I’m still wide awake.

I hadn’t slept.

Is it true Friday the 13^th a bad omen?

This was just about to prove itself to me.

Hours it was;

Had my eyes lingered on the ceiling.

My head throbbed;

There wasn’t anything I could do.

I ought to take it easier this time.

I had to make sure my heart was intact,

alive and beating;

though I wasn’t breathing properly.

It was a long empty night,

accompanied by quiet sobbing.

Clutching the blanket so tight;

I tried bringing out the best of my adultery.

I was a coward—I used to say that proudly.

I changed my mind.

That was my weakness.

Perhaps one of the very things I should hide.

Each word then rang in my ears.

They spoke quite aloud.

What do I do?

He walked away.

That miracle I believed in so much;

it didn’t happen.

Dear God,

I could barely stand on my feet.

Save me.

The Other Road

I was thinking for a night; reflecting on things I did while I live.

So I thought;
What if my life were to change? What if I took the other road?

I suppose a change or two wont hurt.

Nevertheless, a whole change is too much to risk for.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,					(Robert Frost,1920)

I've been in this comfort zone for years. Towards this second, I find that hard to keep.

I wanted to give up; but I never did.

I never really did.

I was afraid to face the outcomes.

And truth is, I never had visions.

Despite the absence,
I managed to land on smooth grass.

Then I learned that wasn't enough;
I wanted more.

Perhaps no one saw to it.

2011

WARNING: This is going to be a long essay.

2011; like every other year has its own joys and regrets.

I had an awesome year. I got what I wanted and I thank Allah for that. WELL, not exactly all... Need highlights?

1. I got into ze' medical school. Yes of course I still can't get over the fact that it wasn't really my choice but hey it's good.
2. I met some long-lost friends.
3. I make more friends. I think.
4. A supreme visit to ze' USS!
5. Awesome awesome job being an LO.
6. There was a period when I learned the meaning of being at the bottom of life.
7. Some changes.
8. Losing weight and gaining them :\
9. Screwing up and doing it more.
10. I got ze' SCHOLARSHIP!
11. Being a chicken and ze' slave.
12. A lot of chasings took place.
13. I got my licence BUT le me isn't allowed to drive.
14. Bad, bad PMS.
15. THE GREATEST ASASI year. EVER. Bet everyone's jealous of that :P

If I could turn back time I'd choose to relive the days I spent being worry-free, do careless, reckless things and live it like any normal teenagers would. All without the overwhelmed expectations or purposes.

And I cant tell if there's actually more of the good over the bad; or vice versa. I learned to lie, be stupid, be smart, be witty, happy. All worth a life :) I'm already missing.

You and everything else, carved in a journal of journey 2011. Thank you for teaching me so much of love and gratefulness.
It stays a story only I know.

Dear 2012;

make me hold on to good things to pull me through. I hope I live long enough to see 2013.