Syazzinator

I have cried— For loss, For heartbreaks, For coming days. I have indeed— Fell hard, Get stabbed, Died for a moment. I hardly lived. That was a minute of life. And I bother to pause and think. I can’t regret— It’s twelve, another day. So days it’s been, Of riddles and songs; Of happenings and beings; Of love and rejoicings; As I have always dreamed. Then He came to remind; I can’t have them all. So He took one; And left me love. With it; I found my will. InsyaAllah.

There were times I stopped reaching; Ones I stopped chasing; Ones I stopped hoping; Ones I started losing… Nine is but a figure; Yet you show signs of drift. I seek for wrongs. I seek for rights. I stood in the middle; Down and defeated. What will it take to be there? For moments were once beautiful. For happiness were once family. Don’t run; don’t go. Am I no more than neglect? Bring me back to where we were.

Raya is always fun. This year Granny got her new house done. Bam! Raya this time is a hit. Hot cousins. Hot new clothes. No eye candies on sight :< Limbang is small. That sort of contributes to ze' cause. I celebrated only the first two days. Two days filled with nonsense. Not to forget confusions. Ani anak si Numah ka? Yang ani si Saby? Despite a thousand explanations; They never got us right. No we did not get switched -.- I bet you heard about that facial inheritance. Basar basar sudah anakmu ni By. Acknowledged for the bigger size. Aku ada anak bujang 3 urang di rumah bha. Mauku kan bawa berjumpa ih. Errr, matched to some random relatives? I wish we did more visitings. Except for Talib Blues xD Raya moments: Queuing up for toilet vacancy till 11pm. Sharing toilet with 2 other cousins. Posing at every angle of the wall. Hearing accidental farts and make dunnos. Shocking sights: Uncle stripping to his underwear. Kissi

My dad has quite an issue buying gifts. My sister and I are experimental . Well, it's likely me. When he's outstation; he'd bring at least something home. Something for me is hardly right.

Dear future Girlfriend, If things doesn't work out between us; and that he chooses you; always remember this...

There's  a saying that goes: Women wont stop worrying until they get married. And on the contrary: Men will start worrying after they marry. C'est la vie.

I'm usually very fond of kids. But when they start acting nonsense; Imma forced to treat 'em like germs. Dispose, dispose those diapers bottomed!

Define friend: A   person   attached   to   another   by   feelings   of   affection   or personal regard. What difference does it make if true was added to it? There wasn't a guide on making friends. Maybe there is on communicating with dummies. Not friends.

Dad's birthday's next week! AH! I almost forgot. And so Dad's the Great Man . This is the man who claimed that he-- gave birth to me. This very man gave up changing my diapers; says women are difficult to handle, when I was a mere baby.

Been somewhere you hate? Ah. Such word I used. It's back to the things you wish to do and things you wish to know. Okay so I'm close to blaming Facebook . Why the see friendship  button?

Aaaaa. Hee. I downloaded Blogger-droid. I'm putting it to test. Booyah! Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

This room is historical. Full-stop. I spent a year in this mini zoo; hearing all sorts of noise from the respective neighbours. Roaches were one of them. Long story.

Inside this vessel, Lies but a heart, Only those worthy may claim, Very few yet everyone, Enter it and be lost you might, Yonder but an image you see inside, Only to realize all was nothing's worth Unless you believe this crap. Comes this from a man I adore. Thank you. Thank you so much.

When you stood in front of a mirror, Not to check on your reflection; Not on your appearance too; It's on yourself. As a whole person. What do you see?

Kina Grannis - Cambridge

This might be a little too common for you. But it doesn't hurt to share now ain't it? Enjoy.

Today I had my answers. One I’ve been waiting and expecting. Another left questioned over the years. Satisfied ? I could not tell. One I have expected hit me. Because what I assumed would happen, really came true. No, it’s really not what you quite anticipate . It’s not worth to woe over too. The other mentions this particular person. Probably one I did not spoke to for many months. And that I have not mentioned for years. I started it all with a question.

Remember when I said that I love surprises? Ah. Now I’m giving it a second thought. FIRST: I still can’t get used to the fact that it’s holidays. *groans* SECOND: Anyone remembered the promised result? *groans* THIRD: I still can’t get used to the fact that it IS holidays. Someone’s got an issue. I KNOW. I pray o’ Allah , let there be good news. Well, everything happens for a reason. I have my faith. I do.

Look outside. Do you see what I see? A bright moon stealing attentions of everyone who goes by night. Yes, I’m jealous. To be under the same sky, not meeting each other… That sucks, really.

One day I’ll walk the strange hallway I’ll be in the midst of a new crowd Meet peculiar people. One day Unfamiliar scents will miss the old Search for the missing; Tired of replacements. Then comes your absence. One day (If) I see you at the end of the road Will my fingers creep for yours Once I held so tight to. Can I do it on my own? I’m heading back to the start.

What is fault when all things silenced? Sometimes it’s best not saying anything to keep things low. Ask around? Must you be first? It’s impossible to move from all the mud surrounding these very feet. I am complicated. I can’t make it bolder . Should a tarot come and tell me what I want? That I do not expect. At times I question, I get scolding as an answer. NOT motivation. I guess I should have seen that coming. Holidays are the sum of all miseries. Sorry I can’t define that further. When the mind begins to think, all logarithms appear. And then everything is plastic. Haha. That’s only a piece of my shattered thinking. Till then.

Yes I believe some of you lucky ones have seen me. Where? When I first came around to UNIMAS. HAHA. Honestly… None dared to go near. Imma tell you to whom I spoke first. Qamarul “ The Man ”, Azuan The Roslan, Camillus The Titus. Thanks my men :)

Pack pack and pack!   Did everyone hurry home? Why so soon? Why so… excited? The exits wont run. There I was. Watching packing things and fretting. It’s already time to leave. And I wasn’t ready.

Don’t let go of my hands now that you have them. Don’t waste your tears over my wrongs. Stay like its a need. Hide my pain, love my flaws. In case you’ve moved on , never let me know. Because I hold on to every last bit of this living memory.

He was the past she is re-living. He was the past, and she is the present. The past is something meant to not reoccur over time. Somehow, there is a moment in your life where it can’t be helped and you let it happen, again. Do you know that letting go is one of the greatest lie ever told? It's like hoping for a miracle to happen. Waiting for him to turn your way and finally took notice of the sacrifice you made. You could tell a thousand lies, but your heart always laid the truth. Don’t let yourself be open like a book – so easy to read and be predicted. According to a friend of mine; Jokes are my way of saying the truths.