Asian mothers

You know you're an Asian when your mum's be like:

Me         : *coughs a little*
Mum     : (footsteps from three rooms away) Why are you coughing? Go take your medicine! You’re not going anywhere until you get better.

When crossing the road
Mum     : Be careful when you cross the road. Call me when you reach the other side sayang *watched from across*
Me         : *crosses the road*
Mum     : *calls* WHY DIDN’T YOU CALL ME! You could’ve died!

Going on a trip with friends
Mum     : Be sure to pack your bags. Don’t forget your bras and panties else you’ll get itchy recycling them. Bring your panadol along in case you got sick. Did you get your pads inside? Why are you bringing so many pairs of pants? Where’s your umbrella? Don’t even think of wearing this skirt young lady! You’re not going anywhere without your water bottle. Don’t go to clubs or I’ll decapitate your limbs.
Me         : …

Going swimming
Me         : Ma can I go for a swim?
Mum     : No, you’ll drown and die.

Going out with friends
Me         : Ma I’m going out with my friends.
Mum     : Ok don’t come home too late.
Mum     : *calls at 6pm* WHERE ARE YOU? Why aren’t you home yet? You’re out of control! What are you? A rebel? Do you know how many rapists are there out there?

Me         : Ma check out the shirts I just bought!
Mum     : They’re all ugly. Whoever gave you permissions to spend?

Dining outside
Me         : *to waiter* Can I get chocolate shake please?
Mum     : *glares**pinches thighs under the table* Cancel that, we’ll take two plain water instead. I said you’re eating rice not sandwich

Dining outside with friends
Mum     : Why you so banyak money?

(After 1.5 years of getting my driver’s license)
Me         : Ma can I drive?
Mum     : No, you’ll get in an accident and die. Just drive around the house.
ME         : Around the house?!

Randomly at night
(In the dormitory)
Mum     : *calls* where are you? Have you eaten?
Me         : In dorm and I haven’t makan.
Mum     : *in dramatic tone* BULAKKKK!!! I got eyes watching on you
Me         : *starts being paranoid and finally dressing up from towel*

Dining outside part 2
Mum     : Mun ktk makan roasted kelak jadi itam macam ayam. You can only have steamed chicken. No garlic sambal. Got vinegar inside later your tummy bleeds.

Having a boyfriend/dating
Mum     : You’re not allowed to date till you’re 18.
Me         : *at eighteen* look ma a guy actually likes me!
Mum     : Who gave you permissions to date?! You’re out of control!

Waking up late
Mum     : You’re unlike everyone else of your age. So childish and rebellious!


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