Trailing my fingers across the keyboard—
Nothing crossed my mind.
6.46 am and I’m still wide awake.
I hadn’t slept.
Is it true Friday the 13th a bad omen?
This was just about to prove itself to me.
Hours it was;
Had my eyes lingered on the ceiling.
My head throbbed;
There wasn’t anything I could do.
I ought to take it easier this time.
I had to make sure my heart was intact,
alive and beating;
though I wasn’t breathing properly.
It was a long empty night,
accompanied by quiet sobbing.
Clutching the blanket so tight;
I tried bringing out the best of my adulthood.
I was a coward—I used to say that proudly.
I changed my mind.
That was my weakness.
Perhaps one of the very things I should hide.
Each word then rang in my ears.
They spoke quite aloud.
What do I do?

That miracle I believed in so much;
it didn’t happen.

Dear God,
I could barely stand on my feet.
Save me.


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